In my previous post I mentioned that there was two things scribbled on my whiteboards at home that I was looking at again, the previous one was “Waiting on God”, today’s one is “Sacrifice it all”.

A difficult question

I can’t remember exactly when this thought hit me, I might have been driving in my car, but I can’t be too sure. What I do know is how heavily this weighed on my heart for a while. I actually asked myself some very hard questions.

These questions amongst others where:

1.       If God asked me now, would I really just leave my job, walk into my manager’s office and hand him my access card.

2.       If God asked me right now, will I take me television and Xbox and give it away?

3.       If He asked me, will I take everything in my house and sell it or give it away?

4.       If He asked me, will I give my car away?

5.       If He asked me, will I go onto the street and live (for a time) like the homeless, or even with them?

6.       If God asked, will I give up my studies? What about my dreams? My ambitions? The clothes on my back?

7.       If God asked will I give everything I lived for so far up?

8.       If He asked will I rid myself of my reputation any way possible?

9.       If God asked, will I do all of the above without a moment’s doubt?

I found myself asking this while I was driving, would I really be able to do it, even though I know He is all-powerful, that He created all things, that in Him all things hold together, that He looks after the birds in the sky and the flowers in the field?

These questions where quite hard, because it all asks am I trusting the Lord enough to be willing to Sacrifice it All, to give all I am over to Him? Week after week we find out more of God’s gracious hand of love over us, day after day we learn of His power and Majesty and in every moment we can see his protection and creativeness all around us, we sing hymns and songs  and proclaim out loud how amazing His love is and that He will sustain us no matter what.

I do believe that kind of question will be the easiest answered by a homeless street dweller, that person doesn’t have anything left, all he has, if he is lucky, is the scrap of bread that some café owner gave him, and even then he will be willing to share that with the mongrel that follows him everywhere.

But I found myself asking those questions, and it is directed at me, and I know, deep in my heart, that I don’t think I will be that willing. Maybe for one or two of those points were it is something small, but definitely not for all. I don’t know if it’s just me, I do believe everybody sits with this same issue, but it’s almost as if it doesn’t matter how much faith we have, there is always some reluctance when it comes to performing certain actions.

I’m just so glad

I finally listened to the Tree63 album “Answer to the Question” again, it’s been such a long time since I last listened to it, and the song that stuck with me regarding this is a song called So Glad, in it the lyrics goes I’m just so glad, that whatever I can’t You can, and where I end that’s where You begin, this was just such a wonderful reminder of Jesus’ love, that He took up all the sin of the world, everything that we can’t do, and He became the ultimate sacrifice.

But even so, these questions stay with me on a daily basis and sometimes they are easy to answer and other times they are extremely hard. Either way, I have faith that one day I will be able to say, yes I can. Until then I’ll still continue to praise God and thank him and to sacrifice more of my life, we are after all living sacrifices.

This is Christiaan Nel, signing off…